Love me, slowly
by Katzenaugen
Summary: [Clotif] In the process of regaining his memory, Tifa takes her chance and tries to make him love her.
1. Losing My Memory

**Love me, slowly**

Author: Katzenaugen

Rating: T

**Losing my Memory**

_Chapter 1_

"_Cloud, I-"_

The warrior dressed in black woke up in pain. His head felt as though someone kept punching him. Moving any of his limps was impossible. These were the last words he could remember before something hit him from behind. Was it a gunshot? Reluctantly he opened his eyes, fearing he might find himself in some weird place, but at the sight of bright white walls and warm lighting touching his skin he knew this could only be one place – the hospital.

**(Cloud POV)**

I wanted to open my mouth, open it and ask someone what happened, but I couldn't. Neither could I move any of my limbs. It was as though I was immobilized. Maybe my body was too tired to move. Tilting my head to the right as far as possible I saw a woman sitting by my side. Her hair was long and dark, black probably. A few bangs hid her face, hiding her eyes. All I could see was her chin and her lips. Those lips looked soft and reminded me of candy. But who is she? Somehow she seemed familiar, but meeting people every day, it happens you see similarities in people. She did not raise her head yet to look at him. Was she sleeping? Didn't she notice I am awake?

Suddenly as she raised her head a little I saw her eyes, enchanting brown eyes.

"Tifa?" I asked wearily. My head had shifted the other way already gazing out of the window. "Is your name Tifa?" I asked again.

I felt a cold hand touching mine, her hand was trembling. But why? "Yes Cloud, it is me. How are you doing?"

Had she been crying? Did something happen? Did a relative of hers die?

"I am doing ok." I replied briefly. Cloud, yes that's my name.

"That's great to hear." sobbed the woman. "Why are you sobbing?" I asked, turning my head around again to look into her tear stained face.

"I was worrying about you. You have been in a coma for weeks." her sobbing got heavier. Sobbing because of me? Why is she?

"Oh really? Hm." I paused thinking hard what to say now. I could not let Tifa keep crying. Men don't let woman cry right next to them without trying to give comfort, right? I wonder, who told me that.

"Can you rememeber anything that happened before?" she asked me, wiping away some of her tears. I would have done it, but my body felt too weak. Rising my hand was impossible to me. It was weird thinking about it that way. She was sitting right next to me, only a few centimeters away, holding my hand. But for me to move mine, it would have felt like kilometers. My muscles ached.

"Not really. Other than something hitting me. Was it a gunshot?" I asked her, frowning a little.

"Yes, somebody shot at you." Her eyes filled with tears again. Oh Lord, such beautiful eyes should not be stained with tears. Is she really crying because of me?

"The doctors say though, that it might take you a while to regain your full memory. But it will come back, for sure." she smile at him. Girl, this smile looks pathetic with a face stained like that.

**(Cloud POV End)**

"When can I get home?" asked Cloud. "I do have a home right?"

"Yes you have, and they say they could let you go today already."

"What does this house look like, where I live?" scrutinized Cloud, thinking hard to recall some pictures.

"It's a bar we two work at. You are a delivery boy. And we have some orphans there too, we take care of them." explained Tifa, still smiling at the blonde.

"Sounds interesting."

Tifa's eyes watered again but this time no single tear fell. "I think I remember more now. I remember what it looks like there." Cloud had his eyes closed as he spoke. "It's nice there, right? And we are happy, right?"

"Yes, that we are." Tifa swallowed her tears away, she had cried enough.

---

"Cloud?" she exclaimed as she entered the room he was resting in. "We can go. Go get dressed, I'll wait for you outside." Smiling at him one last time she left his room again.

Tifa stood outside in the warm summer sun. "Would he remember anything from before? My feelings?" Her eyes watered once again. "Maybe this is the chance I need to take, the chance to make you love me." She knew one thing though, she had to protect him from searching his past, for it being something he would better not reveal. _'You'll be happier starting a new life.'_ To him though, Tifa was a friend only anymore – or so she assumed.


	2. Familiar Faces

**Familiar Faces**

_Chapter 2_

**(Cloud POV)**

So this is what they call Seventh Heaven. A bar and apparently a delivery service as I read outside – Strife's delivery service. Strife, that is my last name, right? What kinds of deliveries did I do?

I watched Tifa go inside and followed her. Some dust covered the floor and rays of sunlight exposed even more lingering in the air. But this bar had something I liked. Was it a familiar feeling? I took a seat and observed Tifa once again. She was the only one I had and most likely the key to my memory. She smiled at me as she was cleaning a few mugs and I smiled back. Something in her face told me though there was something wrong with my smile. Is there something stuck between my teeth?

**(Cloud POV End)**

"Come, I'll show you your room." Tifa said and strode to the door. "Come, what are you waiting for?" Cloud had hesitated and was still sitting on the chair. He eyed her closely, as though he was facing a stranger that tried to persuade him to get into a car with him. Reluctantly he moved walking over to where Tifa stood. She had her arm stretched out, as if she wanted him to hold hers. Giving her a brief nod he followed her upstairs.

His room, the room she told him he always slept in, was brightly lit and a bed with green with white bedsheets stood at the right. To the left, right in front of the door was a desk and a phone. On each side of the table was a fairly big pile of papers. _'Whose papers are those? Do they have something to do with this delivery job?'_ it ran through the warrior's mind.

"I'll leave you alone for a while. Go get some rest, I will call you when dinner is ready." announced Tifa and shut the door behind her. _'She was smiling again.'_

**(Cloud POV)**

Judging from the bed's appearance somebody must have been tossing around at night. No actually, _I_ have been tossing around at night. But why?

The bed, _my_ bed, is comfortable. It's nice to sit on. _Tifa_, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. But where do I know her from? And for how long do I know her? Long I assume, or else I would not be living in the same house with her. And these orphans she has been talking about, where are they? I have not seen a single one yet. My eyes fell onto a frame - a picutre of me, Tifa and a little girl. There was something about this girl's eyes I remembered. Was it this childish gleam? Eyes that tell you "I am free."? Something appeared in front of my inner eye for a moment. It was a girl, about the age this girl on the picture was, just that she had longer black hair, falling onto her shoulders. Was that a memory? This face, it seems familiar.

I was not smiling at this picutre, I am wearing a look with no particual expression, as if I showed no interest. But why was looking like that? I was standing next to a beautiful woman and a cute little girl, and I was not smiling? I wonder.

**(Cloud POV)**

"Cloud, dinner's ready!" a voice yelled upstairs. Cloud placed the picture back where he had picked it up from and walked downstairs. _'I wonder wheter she's a good cook, I'm starving.'_

Taking the seat he had before, Cloud patiently waited for his food. Marlene and Denzel joined them. Cloud immediately recognized Marlene's face from the picutre. She looked exactly the same.

"What's your name?" asked Cloud curiously. Marlene surprised about this sudden attack took a few steps away from the grown man. Tifa had informed them that Cloud was in the process of regaining his memory, but it appeared to be harder to talk with someone you know for years but who can not remember you.

"I am Marlene, and this is Denzel." informed the girl. Cloud smiled at both. Marlene jumped in joy before taking a seat. It was a smile, _his_ smile.

---

**(Cloud POV)**

"You are my hero." explained Denzel as they sat on the porch. "Why am I?" I asked curiously. Me and a hero, hah, it seems like boys always see a hero in the grown-ups.

"You are strong and you often protect me, Tifa and Marlene." whorshipped the boy. My eyes fell onto my muscles. I must be strong with these muscles, right?

"But you are barely around." there was something depressing in Denzel's voice I did not like. "Why am I?"

"Tifa says, you need to earn a living for us with your deliveries, and that you love us, but you never really know how to express your feelings." Is that so? I understand that the delivery service is to earn money, but that it takes up so much time? I love the children, hm? What kind of a man must I be to leave them behind like that every so often? And now it seems as if I am somewhat anti-social too. Who exactly am I?

**(Cloud POV End)**

Cloud wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him tight. "I guess, I need to make up for that then, and be around here more often, right?" Cloud smiled at the young boy who smiled back exposing his white teeth. "Any suggestions what we could do tomorrow?"

Denzel touched his chin, thinking hard apparently. _'And I never find time to be around those adorable kids? I wonder.'_ It ran through his mind again.

"What about going for an icecream, the four of us?" cheered Denzel. His eyes, so big and innocent. How could he say no? Wait, he wouldn't even consider saying no.

"Yes I'ld like to treat you all for some icecream." Cloud smiled at him. The boy's head pressed against his side again.

---

"Marlene, come!" yelled Denzel. Cloud watched him jump in excitement. What a happy boy. There was something that worried Cloud though, the way Denzel had been talking yesterday. He was the man of the house, so why was he never around? There's no way he would not like these kids.

"Alright I am here!" cheered the girl and ran along with Denzel down the road. Tifa smiled at the blonde briefly and locked the door. "I haven't seem them this happy in a while." she giggeled.

"I am sorry to hear that." Cloud felt as though he should just enjoy this day and not ask any further. Something in his head told him he was to feel guilty for this, but having no memory of what happened, Cloud decided to ignore this feeling, blaming the medicine to make him feel a little out of sorts. _'Should I wrap my arm around her? Would she like that?' _He glanced at the black haired woman walking next to him. Her way of walking had something graceful, as if she was a princess. The way she raised her chin while walking, her hair waving in the rhythm of her hips and how she swinged her arms on each side. '_I'd better not do it. She might not like me touching her.'_

As they sat down in the park everyone with some icecream Tifa and Cloud watched the two kids chat and walk around between the trees. There was a large tree to their left. "I know that tree." said Cloud.

"Yes, we sometimes sat there. Only rarely anymore though." her cheerful voice wasn't so cheerful anymore. _'Did I say something wrong?'_ From the corner of his eyes he glanced at her. Her beautiful face wore a sad expression. _'The same expression you wore when I woke up. What happened over there?'_

"I am sorry. I suppose, bringing this topic up was a bad idea." his head lowered.

"Oh no, not at all." laughed Tifa nervously. "I was just thinking." Giving him a fake smile she continued licking her icecream, pretending to enjoy it a lot. _'Are you lying to me?'_

---

"_Cloud, stop hurting me already!"_

_-----_

So I decided to update. Thanks a lot for the reviews. This chapter might not really be that good and hopefully not dissappoitning seeing you guys liked the start, but I promise better ones will come – I hope. And the future chapters might be longer too. It's somewhat unusual for me to write short chapters if you read my other fanfics. :) Please keep reviewing! I'm glad about suggestions.


	3. Rollercoaster

**Thanks for all those lovely reviews. Love you guys. :) **

**I'm most glad to hear you guys like my story. I'll try to keep the story up the way I have so far and not let it turn out boring. Please keep reviewing!**

---------

**Rollercoaster**

_Chapter 3_

**(Tifa POV)**

I decided not to tell him. Maybe if he would never find out the pain he caused me at times, things would be ok. He was cheerfuller now and I wanted it to stay that way. The past is the past. It's as though he was living his life again. And I would protect him from his past. He should never find out anything about it. He should just be _happy_.

**(Tifa POV End)**

Tifa and Cloud had finished eating their icecream. "Come here and let me clean your hands." Tifa called. The kids came as ordered. "Oh no, I must have forgotten my handkerchief. " Swiftly Tifa roamed through every of her pocket, but there was nothing to wipe the kid's hands.

"It's ok." came a deep male voice. "I've got one." Cloud smiled at Tifa and handed her his handkerchief. Tifa couldn't help but blush a little. "Thanks, Sir." she teased him. His behaviour was too genelteman-like.

After cleaning Marlene's and Denzel's hands, both ran away again leaving the two grown-ups sitting on the parkbench. Tifa turned around and smiled at the blonde warrior dressed in black. Why is she smiling like this again?

"I wonder-" he began but cut himself short. Had he just been thinking out loud?

"What are you wondering?" scrutinized the black haired woman. "Nothing." retorted the man and avoided her eyes. "Oh come on tell!" she giggeled and poked his arm. "I wonder." he began once again. "For how long we know each other."

"Hm." Tifa touched her chin. "We know each other since ever our childhood days."

"Oh for that long? I thought so." retorted the man placidly.

"How come?"

"Because I'm taking care of those kids with you, and we are living in the same house. It was obvious we could not have known each other for only a short while." he explained in a serious tone.

**(Tifa POV)**

"And what if we were actually a couple?" I said, feeling my heart jump. Why did I even start that nonsense? I hope he wont sense I've got feelings. Putting on a smile I waited for his reply.

"Well I would not know." he chuckeled. Cloud, the Cloud I used to know, chuckeled. How cute. Thinking I fell for the serious Cloud, the Cloud that sealed his emotions away. And now, he was acting this – can you call it human? No, not that he wasn't acting human before, but now, he seems to have more traits of a happy person, yes happy person it is.

But hearing his words, I wonder wheter that means he is not aversed to it. Could it possibly be that I've got a chance? Oh Tifa, don't be stupid. Don't talk yourself into something that's not there. Cloud having feelings for me? Hah, what a dream that is. A dream I've had for so long. Feeling his hand touch me, caress me. How I yearn for the lips of yours, Cloud. Stop it Girl! You know there's no chance, just be happy he is finally thawing up.

"Tifa?" he asked me. I was so lost in thoughts I forgot I had been talking to him.

"Oh yes sorry, I was just thinking." I replied trying to hide my blush. How easy it would be to lean close to him and kiss him. I had trouble not to sigh.

"Is there anything else interesting about my past?" he asked me curiously, though I felt he was uncomfortable asking. I can imagine that, I would feel somewhat stupid asking someone to tell me about my very own life. I decided it to be best not to tell him the truth, he was happy the way he is, a happiness I never saw before, no use destroying it right? Yes I'm doing the right thing – I hope.

"An ordinary life just like everybody elses, I would say. There's nothing big to mention." I smiled at him waiting for him to smile back.

**(Tifa POV End)**

Cloud smiled at her. She was nice and gentle towards him. Though she seemed like a stranger there was something really familiar about her. He liked that feeling, the feeling that he could rely on someone.

"Cloud, Tifa! Can we go home?" asked Marlene who had ran up to us and stood besides the man.

"Yes I guess it's time for us to go. See the clouds, it might be raining any time soon." Tifa stood up from the couch and dusted herself off a little.

**(Cloud POV)**

I saw a leaf attached to her butt, well her skirt actually. A struggle with my inner self began. Pick it up? Pick it not up? Will she slap me if I do? Of course she would, who would like a stranger to grope your ass. Wait, I am not a stranger. But I'm not close enough to her. But I can not let her run away with a leaf attached to her bottom can I? There was an easy solution though I ignored – telling her.

**(Cloud POV End)**

"Hey Tifa, you've got something on your butt." Cloud whispered. He had tried to keep abreast with her and moved his head right next to hers to whipser in her ear.

"Thank you Cloud." she blushed a little.

"Come Cloud." exclaimed Marlene and grabbed the grown-up's hand and seized it. "Let's run home."

"Oh No Marlene, I'm too tired." retorted the blonde and slowed down.

"Yes Marlene, Cloud just came home from hopsital." interjected Tifa. Though she found it amusing to see them like the "new" Cloud this much. Without doubt, so did she.

"No Marlene." said the warrior again and stopped walking and turned around to see wheter Denzel and Tifa were still behind them. Tifa, having walked behind both of them crashed into Cloud.

Her bosom pressed against his hard muscular chest. She felt his warmth through his clothes.

**(Tifa POV)**

Just a centimeter and my lips would meet his. My heart was racing, if I wasn't sure there was no way it could jump out, I'm sure it certainly would have by now. Might he feel my haert pounding like this? But no, no Tifa, you can not kiss him. What if he doesn't want that? What if he will feel ashamed or think he sent the wrong signals and then he'll be the old Cloud again, not showing his happiness and feelings like he does now?

Blushing I took a step backwards. "Sorry." I stammered.

"It's ok." he retorted. He seemed nervous? Might he have felt this feeling too? Like butterflies in your stomach? It's been so long since you last caused me to feel this Cloud.

**(Tifa POV End)**

Both withdrew from their awkward position. Denzel having stood to their right, nearly between those two now, eyed them closely. "Why are you blushing?" he inquired.

"We aren't!" exclaimed Tifa. Denzel grinned at her cheekishly. Calming herself again she sighed. "Come on, let's go home. It's getting dark already."

---

They arrived back home and Marlene and Denzel pulled out a game from under the table. "Let's play this!" both cheered.

Tifa stiffeled a giggle as her eyes met Cloud's stunned expression.

"Oh no." he retorted and backed away. "I'd rather get some sleep." He faked a yawn.

"Aw, alright then. Sleep well." Both kids ran up to him and hugged him right before letting him go. They just reached up to his stomach and Cloud gently patted their heads. "Good night."

**(Cloud POV)**

I could not help but smile, they were so cute. But I wonder wheter Tifa had this dreamy look evertime she saw me with them. Sometimes I even feel as though, her seeing me with them is something completely new to her. At least she behaves that way. Could it be that I did not get along with them so well before the accident? Is that the reason Denzel said I usually never had much time for them? Was she hiding some facts about my past?

I threw myself onto the bed. I was tired and my brain felt like someone sucked all energy out. All these questions, all these thoughts and those feelings, today had been enough for me.

---

I woke up soaked in my own sweat. Lifting my right hand I glanced at my watch. 3:36.

I saw a woman, a woman with brown her. Part of it was tied to the back of her head it seemed. Who was she? Her face, seemed familiar. It woke an emotion inside me. An emotion I could not define. It was sadness and happiness combined. Her smiled caused me to feel good, yet so sad as it vanished. Why did it vanish? Who was she? And what did she mean?

"_Forvgive yourself already Cloud."_

**(Cloud POV End)**

**-----**

Yeay, here goes the next update. I hope once again you are satisfied with this. :) I'm looking forward to see reviews.


	4. Meeting You

**Yes it's an update! It amaze sme how many hits this story has already.**

**Thanks for all those lovely reviews, it makes me all happy inside. :D**

**I'm really glad to know you guys like my story, that's what counts. Maybe I've got an idea soon again and I'll update fast. We'll see. But for now, enjoy!**

**------**

**Meeting You**

_Chapter 4_

Nimbly Cloud put his feet onto the cold floor. Running his hand through his spikey hair he got to his feet and dressed. A picture of a church was still carved into his mind. Had he not seen this church before when they went for a walk to the park?

Cloud decided he would need a walk – and an accidental visit at the church. He was cruious wheter he would find this woman there, this woman he had seen. He felt something grow inside his chest, a feeling. Each time he recalled her face it seemed to grow.

---

**(Cloud POV)**

In a fast pace I strode down the dark and empty streets. A few streetlights spent light for people that would wander around at this late hour. Would I see her there? Something inside me told me that I had to see her, that this might be my only chance. Why? I don't know.

There I was. Standing right in front of a church, or actually the remnants of a church.

I pushed the doors open and inhaled the breath of flowers. Flowers, how beautiful they were. _Flowers_. I bent down and touched a white one. It felt as though a piece of my past rushed inside me when touching it. I saw this woman again under a water surface and the very flower I had touched right now, was floating to the ground, right through the face that started to blur.

I got to my feet again and strode through the fields of flowers.

"You are here." That's what I would have expected to hear now. But I heard nobody talking. I closed my eyes, feeling the soft breeze and the noise the night made around me. Why did I even come here? I could have just slept in my warm bed, but instead of cuddling into my warm sheets I walked out in the dark. How ridiculous. And all that for a woman I saw in my dreams? Just because she might have seemed closer to reality than any woman that I could imagine to appear in my dreams? I had to chuckle. I felt as though I was crazy. Standing in a huge field of flowers stretching my arms far away from my body. Like an angel I stretched them away, inhaling the sweet scent. I remember her smile. Was she trying to tell me something? I loved this smile. For some reason I did.

This church I remember it so clearly. The pillars and the walls. I was here again once already, right? I wished someone could have told me, but there was noone else here other than me. I had a feeling that I had to search for my past here.

"_You've come Cloud. I am happy."_ Now did I really hear that? Rubbing my eyes and scratching the back of my head I opened my eyes again. I was just lacking sleep. Yes Cloud, all this is just something you made up, your imagination. There's noone here as you saw. Stop thinking your dreams are gates to your past.

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

Cloud stepped back inside the bar, shutting the door as quiet as possible. Turning around his eyes met those familiar brown eyes he felt to be so enchanting. "Tifa. Did I wake you?"

"No. Where have you been?" A bitter tone underlay her words. Cloud swallowed and stared at his feet.

'_That's so something you always do. Whenever you face a wall, whenever you have reached a dead end are you are supposed to face the consequences you face the floor. Are you returning to your old self? Or is this just something that just belongs to a person, like a scent, something you can never get rid of? Face me Cloud, and tell me you have not been visiting **her**.'_

Cloud raisd his head again and spoke. "I have been visiting a church."

"A church?" Tifa's head lowered a little. Her stern expression still on her face_. 'I tried to protect you, and you? You run away and search on your own. Foolish little boy.'_

"Yes. There were lots of flowers there. Actually it was not really a church anymore, rather just what was left over of it." he retorted. His voice was calm and he sounded curious. Somewhat like a little boy that had just seen something amazing, something fascinating.

**(Tifa POV)**

I felt my heart sank. He had heaved it up this high, made me feel that he touched the right spot for once, and now he let it fall, let my heart fall so deep again, back where it had been the very beginning. You caused me to feel so inferior to _her_ again.

Why did you go see her? Is your bond still so strong that losing your memory wont make you forget her? I am not going to tell you anything. She is dead Cloud and she will never appear at your side again. It is me, who is still at your side, yet you wont notice me. Why? I ask you, why? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not as kind as she is? What do I need to do, to make you realize I am there for you? Don't hurt yourself. She is dead, you can move on. Move on with me.

"Cloud, who did you see?" I asked, even though I knew the answer already. No, no you will not come back and draw him back into this darkness, I know you do not intend to, Aerith, but he is happy, and he will stay this way. I will keep him happy. I want him to be happy. The wound you left has healed, and you will not open it again. I will not allow you to.

"I saw a woman, a brunette woman. Part of her hair was braided at her back and she wore a ribbon." Watching Cloud talk I realized how he gestured with his hands while talking. I never noticed he really did that. Was he nervous? Was he confused? I could not tell, but he was anything but the Cloud I knew.

There was something in his look that stung me even more. It was not happy, not sad, it was as though he felt whole. As if he found something that filled him from the inside. There was a certaonm curiousity in his words that hurt me. As if he found a lost piece. No, _she_ left the hole, someone else should fill this hole, someone who is actually around him.

Though he has no idea who she was and still is to him, I did not want _her_ to take this space in his heart. I wanted it to be me. I am still here Cloud. And I've always been. But you never saw me.

_Pain_, you just need to face it. Truth is, it's something you can not avoid. Pain is what makes us strong and weak at the same time. That's what I believe. You though, Cloud, had suffered too much, to the point you got cold, so cold that you would extinguish any fire.

"I guess that's just from all this medicine you are still taking. Yes I know the church you are talking about. But there's no way a girl would have led you there." I chuckeled, hoping he would take it as it is and not inquire any further. Once again I wore my mask, the mask I am always wearing when I felt he hurt me.

"I guess you are right." he retorted feeling a little uneasy. Yes, that's the way. Ban her out of your mind, it's better this way for you. I saw you suffer once, and I never want to see you suffer again. This time it would be me to hug you whenever you need comfort.

**(Tifa POV End)**

Cloud said goodnight to Tifa and wandered up to his room. Tifa stared after him for a while. Everything came too fast, he was not supposed to remember her so fast. Would he regain more of his memory this fast too? Or was it just the love they used to share that made him remember it so quick. _'Will I ever be someone like this to him, someone who he will never forget for real even though he would lose his memory? Or will I stay nothing but a friend forever?' _Tifa wondered. Shaking her head she went into the kitchen. _'A drink might do me good. It's no use thinking about it. I have to try my hardest to keep him at my side. But it's all up to him, it's his heart beating, and I wished it beated for me.'_

**(Cloud POV)**

"_Cloud, I love you so."_

_I love you so _- Who said this? Was I in love before I got shot? Who loved me? Might I have had a girlfriend before the incident? The voice, I can not tell whom it is. These words, I can not remember ever having heard them. But then again, everyone hears these three special words – I love you – once in his life, right? Might someone had told me to be in love with me? I wonder. If so, who was it? Who told me? Was it this woman I had seen? Was it someone else I had not met yet?

I felt that there is someone I was close to, but who? All those faces I saw in my dreams, they were so blurry. So far I only met Tifa. She said she's a childhood friend. Might I have ever shared a romance with her? Maybe I should go ask her. Though it seems to be somewhat rude.

I felt the urge to hold someone close, tell someone I care for him deeply. But who, who was the person I wanted to tell this? It was a feeling that wanted to burst right out of my chest. But I could not tell who I should direct it to. I knew there was someone, yes I remember there was someone, but who was it? I wanted to know, know the person that belonged to me. The person that had part of my heart. I wish, I wish I could remember your face. At least I believed this feelings were something good. Something I would have liked to remember at any cost.

"_If it's that how you feel. Goodbye Cloud."_

No face, just the words – depressing words spoken in a depressed tone. Might I have hurt somebody? Might I have left somebody in pain? It felt as though I did not return someone's feelings. Those pieces I remembered, they didn't seem to make any sense.

**(Cloud POV End)**

------

Liked it? I do hope you will like it as much as my previous. And I hope it did not come out too confusing. It just wrote down whatever came to my mind at the moment. I figured I made some tense mistakes, I'm sorry if there are still any I forgot to correct. Please be lenient towards me. Mabye I'll let Tifa reveal her feelings soon, who knows. ;) Once again I'll be most glad to see reviews.


	5. We are Friends

**Wow, thanks a lot for the reviews:3**

**By the way, my name is Mel.**

**Alright then, here goes my next chapter, I hope you like it. ;)**

**Blackrose2005: Nice Idea, let's see. So far I have no fix ideas. ;) If I want to stretch the story for even longer it would be a good idea. **

---------

**We are Friends**

_Chapter 5_

**(Cloud POV)**

Slowly I made my way into the bar where Tifa usually prepared breakfast. Today, in my dreams, I saw this woman again. The same angelic face. But her eyes, last time I had seen them it felt as though I was looking into a sea, but this time, they seemed so dead. Was she sad?

I knew I needed to find her. Though I still wished I knew what her name is. I believed she was somebody important to me.

Entering the room I saw Tifa giving me a brief smile but it had vanished as fast as it appeared. Why? She always smiled at me, last time she bumped into me I saw her beaming. And now, now she would not look at me for longer than a few seconds. Was it about me sneeking outside yesterday? Might I have worried her? I should apologize.

**(Cloud POV End)**

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I should not have gone like that. I should have told you." the blonde apologized. A sigh escaped the woman's lips. "It's not that." she retorted.

"What then?" asled Cloud curisouly and took a seat right in front of her, eyeing her warily.

"I-" Tifa hesitated and placed the mug she had been cleaning on the threshold. Her eyes avoided his and stared into the sink. _'What am I to tell him now? I told him the woman he believes to have met was not real, caused by his medicine.'_ Once again she sighed. Brushing a few hairstrands out of her face she raised her head and looked into his blue eyes.

"I was worried." she retorted placidly. "You have been shot not too long ago, strolling around on your own is too dangerous so far."

Cloud nodded. "I understand. I am sorry." Giving Cloud another brief nod she turned around and put the already cleaned mugs into the little cupboard. Cloud's eyes rested on her back. Taking in every of her moves his eyes wandered up and down her body.

"I saw her again today. In my dreams." he said as if he was in trance. His face wore no expression just focused the woman in front of his eyes who had not turned around yet. Tifa dropped the mug she was about to put away back into the sink.

**(Tifa POV)**

Why can't you just forget her Cloud? I fought the urge to ask him what he remembered about her, but I made a promise to myself that he would not find out she ever existed. It's too dangerous, but knowing he would not give up so easily, I wondered. Can you promise me never to search for her?

"I see. What was this dream about?" I was curious, yes I really was.

"She was wearing a pink dress and a basket with flowers." He told me. From the corner of my eyes I saw this dreamy look in his face again. It somewhat disgusted me. I never saw you wear this look when you told someone about me. Sadness arose inside me again. The feeling that I would burst inside. Time to wear my mask, time to smile and pretend to be happy. It's just like back then. _Aerith_. Do you know what you are causing?

"She spread her arms wide, told me she would hug me and comfort me. She was in this church I was at yesterday again. Her smile, it was so warm, so pure, so gentle." The way he said it, it was something I never heard before. Not from this man's mouth, a man that would not show his emotions to the outside and only allow one single person, the person he loves, to see some of them. I wanted to see them, wanted to share this very moment with him, the moment he would reveal his feelings to me like I am sure he did towards her. Didn't you know that, Cloud?

"Even though I know she's a product of my fantasy, she feels so real to me. As though I really knew her." I heard him say. If I had not turned my back towards him, he would see tears forming in my eyes again. I knew back then it was wrong for me to think this way, to feel a little part of my heart being happy about her death, but now I realize that it was justified. The pain she caused me and the pain she caused Cloud. You are still between us even if you are dead.

"Sounds nice." I said and turned around smiling, pretending to be interested in his story and happy. But I am not and he would never find out.

**(Tifa POV End)**

"_She is dead Cloud. Dead, you hear?"_

Cloud woke up from his nap on the couch. Who was dead? The words still rang in his mind. Someone had died. Did he know her good? Was she a friend?

**(Cloud POV)**

Tifa being my only source to my past I wanted to ask her. I strode into the living room where I eventually found her. She had been ironing clothes it seemed.

"Tifa?" I tried to get her attention. She turned around and I watched her long dark hair swing along with her movements. It looked silky. Might it feel silky too?

"Yes?" she raised an eyebrow at me. Might I have disturbed her?

"Did anyone in my past ever die? A person close to me?" asking this I felt her expression froze. Did I ask something wrong? Was there really someone that had died?"

She avoided my eyes and scanned the pile of clothes.

"Yes." she finally retorted. She bit her lower lip. "Your mother."

"My mother?" I stammered. _Parents_. I completely forgot about them. Waking up to a woman who I lived with, I did not even bother thinking about my parents. _Mum_. My head lowered. Glancing at her I felt this was an uncomfortable subject to her. Might she have known my mother good? I decided to change subjects.

"Well then, tell me more about our childhood days. What kind of friends were we?" A happier subject, indeed.

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

**(Tifa POV)**

I lied to him. With a straight face I lied to him. My heart, it ached so much. But it was only for you Cloud, you hear? Only for you.

"We were good friends." No way I could have told him I had a crush on him to start with. That's something I confessed to him later on. How hard it was for me to tell him. And I would need to do it again. If only I knew what he remembered about the time _we_ shared. Though I doubted he remembered anything. After all, I was not as important as Aerith, right? Cloud, you have hurt me so.

"We grew up in the same town." I added. "It was called Nibelheim." After telling him the name, I prayed to god he would not be stupid enough to go search about his mother or anything. But I was confident, that he would not do so. If only I had this confidence about the matter with Aerith. I knew you would go on searching for her. And it was up to me to stop you.

"Sounds nice. I bet we played a lot." he retorted smiling at me a little.

Swallowing my pain away I nodded and forced a smile onto my lips. "And later on we travelled with friends. Just anywhere around the world." I lied again – with the same straight face. Remembering Sephiroth would mean remembering Aerith too and everything that happened. And _Zack_. Yes there was still his friend, the one he believed to be once. "Hey, could you do some errands for me?" I asked him, hoping he would agree. And yes he agreed, he nodded at me. I handed him the letter and waited for his departure.

The door fell shut and I felt a door inside me falling shut too – the door I kept open for so long. _Hope_. I sank to the floor feeling the goose bumps forming on my arms. I thought it was hard to gain access to your heart once, to be close to you somewhat. But now it feels as though this time was wasted. All these tears I shed because of you, all these pain I held inside. You forgot them in an instant, yet you remember _her_. If I walked out the door and never return, would you care? Maybe now you would, after all you were dependand on me. I was the only gate to your past you had. And as a friend and someone who cared deeply for you, it was my duty to protect you from finding out she is _dead_.

_Aerith_. If you wanted him to be happy, you should have made him stop looking for you. Made him realize that there were others caring a great deal for him.

I felt pathetic praying to a dead, asking her for help. _Sleep_, how I welcomed sleep.

**(Tifa POV End)**

------

A little short but I hope you'll enjoy it either way. :) Once again I'm looking forward to see reviews. Stay tuned!


	6. Hearts are Fragile

**Hearts are fragile**

_Chapter 6_

Cloud came back from running errands. He was at the church again. He could not help but go there again. He loved this place, loved the peaceful atmosphere. Cloud did not quiet believe this woman was a product of his imagination, but knowing that he was friends with Tifa since ever he was a child, he believed her words were right.

**(Cloud POV)**

Today she told me her name when I stood in the fields of flowers again. _Aerith, _she had whispered to me. What a beaitiful name. It felt as though I heard it already somewhere. Might it be a popular name? Maybe someone called it when I was at the shop.

When I stood in front of the bar I saw a motorbike. It was huge and black but graceful. I saw the little head of a lion or wolf I had attached to my clothes on this bike. Might it have been mine? I Could not imagine Tifa to ride a bike like this. She appeared to be the softer type to me. How she amazed me when taking care of the children. Her smile, her words, filled with passion.

I could not find her anywhere inside. Did she go out? But eventually I found her in the living room, sleeping on the floor. Why on the floor? The couch would be a lot more comfortable. Did something happen?

I felt my heart jump as I rushed to her side and knelt down besides her. "Tifa?" I exclaimed resting her fragile body in my arms. She was warm, her skin was soft and she smelled good, really good.

She did not response. Her face, it seemed wet, tear-stained maybe. Was she sad? Did she cry? Why did she? Did someone hurt her?

I picked her up from the floor and carried her into her room. She was not heavy, she was light, really light. Before placing her down on the bed I brushed a few hairstrands out of her face. She grunted and opened her eyes a little.

"Are you ok?" I asked, a little worried.

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

**(Tifa POV)**

He held me in his arms, his big muscular arms. Oh how long I had been waiting for that, to feel my body pressed against his. "I-" I wanted to say but I couldn't. It would have been so pathetic of me, telling a guy that thinks of you as a friend and who has not even realized his old love is dead that you love him. I wanted to do something, say something. But I promised myself not to reveal his past to him, and I would not. I just needed to get his mind off _her_. I pressed my head against his chest, felt my cheek touching his sleeveless shirt and heard his heart pounding.

"What is it?" he asked me. Yes I wanted to tell you something, but I can't.

"Nothing. I was just tired and must have fallen asleep. Thanks for carrying me to my bed." I whispered. His face so close to mine. I nearly felt his breath touching my skin. I would have died for a moment like this when he was still the old Cloud. But he's the new one now, and I was quiet aware of the fact, that it would be rare for the old Cloud to even talk to me like he did. With all this feelings in his words. He showed me his feelings, even if it was just a little, he showed emotion, expressions, something I could have only imagined to be there in the back of my head when I was still talking to the Cloud that had lost his love. I could never let you find out she died. What if you would fall back into being the old Cloud again? I could not have that. I could not stand seeing you in such pain again.

"You are welcome." he placed me onto my bed. For some reason I would have loved to tell him everything right now, hoping he would tell me that it's ok, dead are dead and he still had me. But the chance that this would happen was close to non-existant.

My heart, my poor heart, it ached. Ached at the thoughts of the situation. Forget her Cloud, stop searching for her. And you will be happy. You wanted to be happy, right? Find happiness with me.

**(Tifa POV End)**

Cloud left the room to let Tifa sleep. She indeed was tired. He figured it was pretty late in the evening already so he would just bring Denzel and Marlene to bed too. Striding into the bar Cloud found the kids. "What are you two doing?"

"Playing cards." exclaimed Marlene and held up her cards. Denzel turned around to face the blonde too and grinned.

"Nice." he chuckeled. "But it's time for bed now, yeah? You can play cards for a little while more in bed if you want, ok?"

"Alright." agreed Denzel slightly dissappointed.

Leading them into their bedroom, Cloud put them to bed. Pulling Marlene's bedsheets over her little body he pressed a kiss onto her forehead. _'That's what parents do, right?'_

Smiling at the little girl once more, he covered Denzel too and pressed a kiss onto his forehead too. "Good night." he whispered and shut the door. _'You would be a good mother Tifa.'_

---

**(Cloud POV)**

There was nothing to do for me here anymore, and since I wasn't tired I left Seventh Heaven again and went for a stroll. A stroll, so I told myself, but I knew I just had to see _her_ again. I had to feel these feelings again,s tanding in this pool of flowers and hearing her whisper to me again. Her voice, how I yearn for it.

So there I was, standing in all these flowers again, waiting for her angelic voice. But this time, nobody talked to me. I was confident, she always talked to me whenever I was here. A soft breeze blew through the ruines. I sat down on a broke pillar, still patiently waiting. I had trouble not falling asleep. As I checked the time on my watch I heard someone walk through the flowers. Spinning my head around my gaze fell onto a beautiful young woman with brown hair. "Aerith." I whispered. "It is you."

"Yes it is me." she responded. I felt my haert beating faster. But why? Was I about to fall in love? Or was I just enthralled by her? I took a few steps closer hoping so would she.

She had her arms crossed behind her back. "I am glad you have forgiven yourself and you came here." she told me. Forgiven myself what? What is she talking about? I was thinking hard, but the only think I would have to forgive myself for was maybe that I forgot her name. Yes, I had forgotten her name.

"Cloud." I heard her say. "I love you." Just as she had told me this, she vanished. She loved me? I felt a feeling arise, a feeling I could not define.

"Where do you know me from? Were we a couple?" I exclaimed, listening to my words echoe. "Answer me, please!" I was desperate. No, she was not a product of my fantasy, she was real.

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

Cloud stepped back into the house as a somewhat annoyed Tifa awaited him. "Where were you?" an angry tone underlay her words.

"I was outside-"

"at the church again." she interjected. '_Why did you go again?'_

"Yes." he nodded. "She told me her name." Cloud behaved as though Tifa was nothing but his best friend, a friend he would share his experiences with and tell her about his crushes and all. "It's Aerith."

**(Tifa POV)**

My heart sank once again, as low as possible. So you told him your name, huh? Why wont you stay where you are and let the living live their life? Why do do you have to be so cruel to him? Don't you see you will hurt him at some point. This gleam in your eyes Cloud, it hurts me even more knowing it will vanish. Yes it will. "She told me she loves me. Do you know anything about her?" he asked me. You told him, hm? How immature could you be? Didn't you think ahead? You will hurt him again and it will be me to blame you.

"No I don't." I retorted sternly turning my back to him and walking away. Why didn't you listen Cloud? Why couldn''t you listen to your friend? If It hadn't been for my heart telling me I could never let you endure this pain again, I would have let you run to her and watch you cry. Cry on the inside, burst just like I did. And I burst again, like a glass you drop to the floor. Thousand pieces, you mended it once but I feel you can not mend it twice. Hearts are fragile Cloud, I hope you knew.

I heard him follow me. Were you desperate Cloud? Desperate to find out about the sadness you endured once? Foolish boy.

I felt anger growing inside me next to my pain. Anger about his stupidness. Anger at _you_, Aerith.

"Did I love her?" Cloud asked me again. I was boiling inside. "No." I snapped at him.

Cloud taken aback stared at me for a minute. "Just forget her. You are making her up Cloud, she is not there." the anger in my voice still did not vanish. I avoided looking into his eyes. His blue eyes that I love so much. I would cry, cry and not stop myself. I would have let him see my tears. I kept staring onto my empty bed.

"Why are you so angry?" I noticed some anger in his voice now too. Love, hm? You believed you love her just because she told you she loves you? How pathetic. "Are you lying to me?" this time he yelled. It stung me like a hot sword, right into my broken heart. You never yelled at me Cloud. And now you get angry at me because of someone who is dead? I used to believed you could never hurt me more, now you did.

"Leave me alone Cloud." I tried to talk as clear as I could. My voice trembled. I could not press a single letter out of my throat anymore. Hot tears ran down my face, my face I hid from him.

As I heart the door slam shut again I sank to the floor, weeping. My hot cheek touched the bedsheets and tears kept streaming. When I realized you love her I heard my heart suffering a huge crack. When I heard you fell for her again, I heard my heart shattering.

**(Tifa POV End)**

"_Hearts are fragile."_

---------

I hope you guys will enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)


	7. Arguments

**Aw thanks for those reviews. :) Thanks for all those hits too. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter too! I'm most glad to hear this story has to impact on the readers I wanted to create.**

**-----**

**Arguments**

_Chapter 7_

She didn't for how long she had cried, but taking a look at her watch she realized it was close to lunchtime. _'I need to prepare dinner for them.'_ Sighing once more she got to her feet and strode into the bar. Passing by a mirror she checked her face. _'Looks tear stained.'_ she sighed. Wiping the last few tears off her face Tifa opened a drawer and pulled a kinfe out.

"Tifa." Denzel exclaimed hopping inside. Tifa turned her head away pretending to be thinking what to cook. "Hungry already?"

"Yes we are." retorted the boy. Taking a seat at the bar his cheerfull eyes tried to meet the elder's. Tifa faced the threshold and started chopping vegetables for the soup. Bangs hid her face.

"Can me and Marlene-"

"Marlene and me." interjected Tifa softly.

"Can Marlene and me play some games again today?" asked the boy in his innocent voice. Tifa raised her head and smiled at him. "Of course." She smiled again, a fake smile. She was not happy, no she was sad, but she would smile, smile for the sake of the kids.

**(Tifa POV)**

This is adult stuff, no need to worry you two. I would fake my smile any time if it makes you happy. "Were you crying?" Denzel eyed me closely, leaning over the threshold a little.

"It's just the onions." I retorted. Where are you Cloud? I know my reaction yesterday was harsh, I shouldn't have forgotten you are still in the process of regaining your memory. But you have to understand my pain too Cloud. But right now all you see is your world and you ignore the others around you.

**(Tifa POV End)**

Tifa stopped chopping and gazed out of the window. Where might he be right now? She was happy with his friendship, more than happy. But she knew, her feelings would never allow her to let it stay just friendship forever. Her stomach cramped once again. The same dull feeling.

"We tried to make him stay." interjected Denzel. "But today, he left the house again." His eyes showed some sorrow. "He used to leave so often and now he was back and we were all happy, but he left again today. He seemed upset."

Tifa bit her lower lip. Yes he had indeed been upset. _'I upset him.'_

"Hey Denzel." Tifa put her knife away. "You know how I always prepare dinner don't you?" Denzel nodded. "Want to prepare dinner today?" she winked at him.

A smile formed on Denzel's face and soon he was beaming. "Of course!" he exclaimed. Was it real happiness just now? Had she really smiled without wearing her mask? "I will be back soon." she told him, patted his shoulder and rushed out of the room.

---

It was raining heavily. There was only one place where he would have went. _The church_.

"Cloud?" she exclaimed pushing the main doors open. Her eyes fell onto a man sitting in the flowers. It was _him_.

"Cloud." she said softer waiting for the man's reaction. But he did not move. Like frozen he still sat there.

"What do you want?" grunted the male's voice finally.

"I want to tell you the truth. The truth about this woman you saw." her voice was neither soft nor angry, it was determined. She was ready, ready to see the expression on his face again – the pain.

"So you really lied to me?"

"Not really. I tried to protect you." she strode closer to him.

"Protect me?" he gibed. "Do you think witholding that I was in love and was loved back Is _protecting_ me?"

Tifa winced. "Listen."

"Listen? You always tell me to listen. I trusted you, thought you were my only connection to my past and you lied to me!" Cloud had rushed to his feet and yelled at her.

Tifa was taken aback.

**(Tifa POV)**

Your words, they hurt. You never yelled at me, not in all these years I've known you. At least never out of anger. Yelling at me because you cared, yes, but anger, never. It hurts, you hear? It hurts.

"So you believe you still love her, Aerith that is?" I asked carefully, though I knew the answer.

"Yes. And she loves me too. Why did you try to pull us apart?" he asked me again. His voice had calmed. He was confused, his head lowered, his eyes avoiding mine. I could not clearly see his face. Might I get to see the steel Cloud shed some tears for once?

"Cloud you used to love her-" I began but her interjected.

"She still does and so do I!" he yelled at me again. I felt something snap inside me. As though my brain, my feelings were washed away. I was angry at him, angry he yelled at the only woman that was at his side for so many years. Angry he would not listen, angry at the man that shot him. Angry at myself. I could not hold it anymore. No Cloud, this time I will not let you walka way and leave me alone with my pain.

"She is dead Cloud, yes dead!" I rushed to his side and slapped him. The sound it made echoed from the walls. Staring into his eyes I saw surprise, pain, confusion. He was shocked. Yes Cloud, be as shocked as me. You always needed a kick into your butt to move on. This time I will slap you to get back to your old self. Wake up Cloud, wake up!

**(Tifa POV End)**

"You- You." Cloud stammered. "You are a liar." He took a few steps backwards.

"Cloud, trust me, she is dead." Tifa's voice had softened again. She sounded desperate.

"You are just trying to pull me and her apart. Maybe you have feelings for me and can't stand me being happy." his voice rose again. _'Yes I have feelings for you. But that's not the reason!'_ Tifa yelled inside her head. She could not let him know, not now. She would just risk losing him forever.

Cloud rushed past her. "I want you to never ever interfere anymore. I can not trust you. You lied to me. You aren't a friend." he hissed.

It stung her like a sword again, right into her chest, her already shattered heart.

"You keep hurting me over and over again." she sobbed. "So often. You always did, but you never realized."

"It's your fault, you hurt yourself." he spun around. Piercing her with his eyes she turned her head away.

"Running away is no solution!" Tifa yelled at him. "You have always run away from all your problems."

"Let me run away then. It's the easiest." his voice lowered. Did he remember he had always been running away?

"If I wanted to choose the easiest way, I would have stopped-" she cut herself short. Her voice trembeled_. 'I would have stopped my feelings from growing, would have stopped myself from loving you.'_

Tifa swallowed and collapsed to the floor. Cloud gave her one last disgusted look and said "Never ever interfere between me and Aeris anymore, you hear? Stop forcing yourself between us."

Tifa did not dare to raise her head, she could not bear seeing his angry face. Her world had shattered once again. _'Are you really worth the pain you cause me?'_

Lying in the flowers of her rival Aerith she cried. Each tear was just another memory that shattered, another moment she had shared with him, another feeling he would not return. Though Aerith was not really all that much of a rival she wondered. _'Why wont you let him love me? Why wont you tell him you are dead? What did I do to you to make me suffer like this?'_

**(Cloud POV)  
**  
I was burning inside. My friend, someone who I thought I could rely on, lied to me. I felt like this world was betraying me. Aerith, when will you come and stay by my side? When will you let me see your angelic face again and make me feel like I am whole? Come and let me hug you, let me feel it – _love_.

Maybe I should move away. Why stay in a house with a woman that tries to pull me away from my luck. Maybe these dreams I had, dreams about Tifa and me enjoying life, were just fake. Is there a way one could implant your memory? Maybe she did. How cruel you are.

_Aerith_ I am coming. Tell me where are you? I will come and see, come and hold you tight until death shall part us.

**(Cloud POV End)**

"_I am already dead, Cloud."_

-----

I wanted to update but had somewhat trouble to really come up with a good idea. It's like I know what I want to write about, but the ideas wont really form into words. I hope you will like it anyways. :) Anyways, enjoy! I'm looking forward to reviews.


	8. Flirting

**Flirting**

_Chapter 8_

Tifa stood up and dusted herself off. _'You took him away fromme again, Aerith.'_

Slowly and sleep-drunken Tifa stumbeles outside into the darkness.

"What is a young woman like you doing in a chruch at this hour?" a familiar voice asked her. Tifa's head spun around. Her gaze fell onto a man dressed in a red coat, with a red bandana and long black hair. He had some similarities with a vampire, though the claw-like thing on his arm told her otherwise. "Vincent." she said shaky. "I did not expect to meet you here. It's been a while."

**(Tifa POV)**

In a place like this you had to find me? After I had cried for hours? Might it have been some kind of intuition, that you felt a friend needed someone to hold onto? Don't be pathetic Tifa. You are just looking for someone to hold onto because the man of your dreams just stabbed you again. My head dropped low.

"Mind going for a walk with me? You look upset." the man's soft voice spoke again. I nodded approvingly. What did I have to lose? I was free, I could go for a walk with anyone I wanted. Though I had always felt like I was tied to Cloud, as if we were in a realtionship – a one-sided realtionship. I had felt like I was not to fancy another man, because I wanted to stay loyal. Loyal to someone that didn't know about my feelings? Loyal to someone who saw nothing but a friend inside me? I was a fool, a love struck fool. But today, Cloud, you made me realize that I can not chase you forever. You want a dead to love you? Go ahead. I wont stop you anymore.

Upon realizing Vincent was waiting for me to follow him I sped up a little trying to keep abreast with the tall man. Now that I actually felt some kind of freedom, I never really noticed how handsome Vincent actually was. At least for someone that was a few hundred years old. I stiffeled a chuckle.

"So how are you doing Vincent?" I asked, clapping my hands. I tried to act cheerful. Maybe I was a little even? Wait Tifa, this is your friend Vincent, someone you've known for a while, not a random man that flirted with you.

"I am fine, thanks. What about you?" he retorted as we headed for the park. Yes the park, the park where I had run into Cloud, feeling his warm skin. I felt like the sorrow I had when waiting for him to wake up after he got shot paid off in this single moment. Oh boy, had I known that It was just the start of more pain.

"Fine." I retorted. I was so lost in thought all the time, Vincent must have thought I am not interested.

"You seem lost in thought." he commented. Now can you read my thoughts?

"I somewhat am." I admitted. "Things aren't really going the way they are supposed to lately."

"That's just fine I suppose. You are taking care of a bunch of kids, run a bar and we all know Cloud is not an easy character to deal with. You have always supported him the most, and I am sure he values that a lot. But it's quitet unmanly to admit that. Things will get alright again, I am sure." he chuckeled. Did I ever hear him chuckle? I doubt that. It sounded nice. As though a new side of this serious man was opening up to me.

I brushed a few hairstrands out of my face blushing a little. Oh I am?

"You are right, probably." I could only retort. Cloud and thinking about what is manly and unmanly? He never seemed to be the kind of person to even know what was and what wasn't to begin with. But I took Vincent's word for it and did not bother thinking about it any further.

Cloud, there's no way you can hear my thoughts, but you are not going to stay on my mind forever. If you can so easily walk away and leave me in this pain again, I can do the same. Today, I will do what I want, and I will not spend my thoughts on you.

After telling myself that I felt like I gained some strength, though I knew it was just a dream of mine. Did I really believe I could stop thinking about the man I cared a whole lot for? That's like telling Vincent I love him - Very unlikely.

Facing the man to my right again I noticed he had stared at me all the time. "I'm sorry." I stammered.

"You must have a lot on your mind." his voice was somewhat smoky, yet fascinating. Whenever he opened his mouth he spoke in such a laid-back manner. It was nice to listen to his voice, it had something comforting, mature, self-confident.  
"I'm just trying to find myself lately." That was just half the truth. Yes indeed, I felt like I lost myself lately. Like I can not feel my own body anymore. All these rushes of emotions lately. Sometimes I felt as though I was living a nightmare. Nothing but a shell, an empty shell filled with sadness. I would not even recognize my surroundings. If it hadn't been for the kids, I would have lost myself a long while ago already.

I don't know why I did it, but I guess it was just something spontaneous I wanted to do, seizing his arm and pulling him closer I rested my head on his upper arm. He was too tall for me to reach up to his shoulder. I did not see his expression, merely stared onto the path before us. I felt protected, I felt good. Something I hadn't felt in a while. Though inside, a small part of mine imagined this to be Cloud. Any ordinary woman would sure have given up on the man she loved when he hurt her like Cloud hurt me, but I could not give up. I had gained his affection once after Aerith death, I could gain it again. But as for now, I wanted to enjoy having someone close to me. Someone to make me feel alright. I guess I was desperate enough not to care who it was, as long as he made me feel loved, made me feel as though he cared. Sounds stupid? I wouldn't have cared. I wanted to feel someone caring for me, even if I would not return these feelings at all. It's just this feeling it gives you. If Cloud can be selfish, so can I. Even though part of me told me that this was just an excuse I was making up, I felt like there was no need to justify my actions. After all this pain my haert experienced, it wanted to be caressed too.

Me and Vincent – I always had to tell Denzel to say it like Vincent and me – sat down on the park bench. I was still clinging to the man's arm. Something gave me the feeling that I needed to hold onto something, needed to hold tight. As if a hole was beneath my feet and Vincent was the only one to keep me from falling.

I enjoyed this moment. A moment I would have liked to share with Cloud. I could hear my mother saying in the back of my head: "If a man never leaves your thoughts even if you try so hard, he must be the right one." her voice rang inside my mind. I could very well imagine how she would sound. Preaching and caring at the same time. Now it would have been the point where I would tell my mother how much I truly care for this man, that I love him. But it hurt me, thinking about these feelings again, that he would not return. Maybe I should have tried and bann him out of my mind. For a while at least. If this world was just a little bit fair, I would be rewarded for my pain. Maybe Cloud would come back. A dream I would always hold onto.

I felt an arm warpping around me. Vincent's arm. Enjoying the moment I shifted closer to him, leaning against his side.

I cried, hot tears running down my cheeks. My face was burried into his chest as he patted my back. He wrapped his arms tight around me. He did not talk, did not ask, he just listened. Listened to me cry. How I had wished these arms were Clouds and it was the warrior's chest I was crying into. But it was a friend's. And I had to admit, he had asked me to go for a walk at the right time. It was the first time I dropped my mask and showed others my pain. He held me there until I was done. As I realeased from the embrace I started into his cold eyes that showed some warmth deep inside If you just bothered to search for it. I smiled, a pathetic smile. My face stained with tears but I smiled. "Thank you." I said shaky. "Thank you for being here."

"I'll always be there when needed, just let me know." he retorted, in his laid-back voice again.

He had held a crying woman in his arms and stayed so calm. I ignored the fact he was just a friend, a friend I barely ever eally interacted much with. Right now he was there when needed, what I could not say just about anyone. The man I wanted to be here wasn't.

"I will bring you home." he said and stroked my hair. Maybe today when I lost Cloud I gained a friend back.

**(Tifa POV End)**

-----

Oh sudden change, eh:D I loved writing this chapter. It went so smooth and was done so fast. I hope you'll enjoy it too. :) Once again thanks for all those lovely reviews.

I somewhat find this chapter cute!


	9. Not A Family

Aw you guys make me happy! I'm glad about every review.

And no, no worries, Tifa wont be let down for too much anymore. I think I let the poor girl suffer enough already, don't you agree?

Yes I know I sometimes switch to fast, I just don't seem to have the patience to stretch everythinga little more. ;)

----

**Not A Family**

_Chapter 9_

Tifa stumbeled back into the bar. Smoke still lingered in the air. Her eyes hurt from crying, her body was exhausted and all she wanted was sleep. But before cuddling into her bedsheets that would spend her warmth soon she took a peek into Marlene and Denzel's room. Seeing Denzel had kicked off his sheets again, Tifa gently covered him again and pressed a kiss onto his forehead. "Sleep well." she whispered. "I spent a nice time with a gentleman today."

---

**(Cloud POV)**

I had not slept at all, had not eaten, I still sat on th same spot I sat hours ago, or was it a day already? I would not have known. She still hadn't come – my love. Where are you?

I must look horrible right now, I told myself. Running my right hand through my hair I tousled it a little. The anger at Tifa still sat somewhere in my throat, yet I couldn't really be angry at her. How come?

I grew desperate. Why wouldn't she come? I kept calling her name, kept recalling her angelic face in my mind. I wanted to hear it again, wanted to hear her soft words and feel her generousity fill my heart. I wanted to see this angelic face again, wanted to be enthralled in her beauty. But it seemed as though fate did not agree with me. I was cold, I was hungry, I was tired, yet I would not give up. Wasn't that a little crazy?

"Cloud. Why are you still here? It's not here where you will find love." I heard someone whisper.  
Aerith. "Yes I will find love here. You love me and I love you." I retorted standing up from the place I had been sitting.

"No. I am dead Cloud. I died years ago. You blamed yourself for so long, suffered immense pain, but there is someone else you started to love. You let her in and now you abadoned her again." she spoke. Was she kidding me? Was that a bad joke. Tifa, is that you? Are you trying to make me feel bad?

"I don't believe you." I hissed. "Are you lying to me too?"

"You felt love towards me right? That's what you used to feel. But you gave that up and let someone else in. Did you forget?"

"Hah." I gibed. "No way I would have ever had feelings for someone else."

"I guess I need to show you something then." she giggeled.

Scenes, pictures, voices. I saw so much in such a bright light, memories, right? I saw myself holding a woman. I released her so she would sink into the water. The lake I had seen close to the church. My eyes widened at the sight of my very own face. I was in pain, great pain. I asked her to stop. It hurt me seeing all these images. Was she right? Did she really die?

"So you are really dead, huh?" I felt pathetic. Though I knew there was nothing wrong with loving someone who had left you already. People do that all the time. But something was wrong. I felt a feeling I could not define.

I recalled my words: I will come and see you, come and hold you tight until death shall part us. Death did indeed part us. And it left a hole.

I sank to my knees and started at my hands.

"Yes I am." she retorted, her voice was still so gentle. I felt various emotions arising inside me, none I could define. I felt as though my lost memory was coming back to me. Everything but having cared for someone a lot to the point I would develop feelings. I saw my mother, friends, fights, sadnes, happiness. Many faces whom I haven't seen again since ever the accident, yet I knew they were my friends, a feeling told me so.

"What am I supposed to do now then?" I asked her. I had feelings for you again, they came back just like putting firewood into a nearly extinguished fire. I burned again, the fire burned again.

"Go and find back to the life you had before this confusion. I'm always there, I have always been. But since ever you promised your heart to someone else there was no use for me to stay around." she explained to me. I felt vulnerable out of a sudden. I woke up next to a friend, found my old love and realized what I thought to have gained back was actually taken away from me so long ago. Years, you say? And there is someone else I developed feelings for?

"Were my feelings strong? Did I love this person you say I let into my heart?"

"That's something you must find out." she giggeled once again. "I can only tell you, that you smiled, you smiled a lot. A smile everyone treasured."

She vanished. I felt something crack inside me. Was it my heart? Collapsing to the floor and burrying my face in the flowers I fought these emotions. It was confusing, too confusing. I wanted to cling to something right now, hold something tight. Or was it rather someone?

Eventually I fell asleep and dreamed. A dream that seemed so real.

_Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me close. Whispered into my ear that it was ok, that she would never leave me. Marlene was lying to my right, snuggling into my side. Protectively I put an arm around the girl and stroked her back.The woman's hair tickeled my cheek. I brushed a few hairstrands away only to gaze into the brunette's face. Aerith. She held Denzel in her arms. Slowly she leant close to my face, still smiling at me. We would kiss._

I woke up with a terrible headache. I mumbeled her name. Aerith. I could not go back to Tifa and the kids so I stayed here. I was afraid how she might react when I came back. After all these things we said. She cried again, she had cried again because of my words. Do women always cry this fast?

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

**(Tifa POV)**

The night had passed and I woke up in bright sunshine. Today, for some reason, I was actually happy seeing the sun. I felt happier in general. I was more than glad I had Vincent at my side yesterday, he was the first I told everything and the last I would expect to tell someone else. I could trust him. Maybe I should pay that bacl to him and invite him for dinner today?

Someone knocked at my door and I asked for the person to come inside. A sleepy Denzel shuffeled his feet inside. "Good morning." I giggeled. Slowly he crawled onto my bed and thudded down to my right. "Where is Cloud?" he asked me. I bit my lower lip as I felt something sting inside my heart. "He is busy doing deliveries lately." I retorted gazing out of the window. I was afraid Denzel might read the sadness out of my eyes. He was smart and it was hard to wear a mask around him. His soft blue eyes radiated in my mind as I tried my hardest to push these thoughts of him away. You hurt me Cloud, how can a man that hurt me like you did still be on my mind so much? Closing my eyes for a second to calm myself I turned around to Denzel again and pull him close.

"Come on, little man, we've got to prepare breakfast." I said a little happier and pushed him out of the bed softly.

Realizing it was time for the mail to arrive I told Denzel to go into the kitchen already while I went to get the mail. Just in time I still manaed to catch the post officer. "Good Morning Tifa." he greeted me. "Sorry no love letters today." he chuckeled. "Just some bills."

I smiled at him feeling a little uneasy. I ran down the stairs that led down from the porch trying to keep abreast with him. I wanted to fight the urge, but I couldn't. I just had to know. "Did you see Cloud somewhere?"

"Hm." his hand touched his chin as he was thinking. "No sorry m'am. But I'll make sure to let you know when I do. Or shall I tell him you await him here in case I meet him?" his eyes fixed me.

"Tifa!" a boy exclaimed behind us. Denzel stood on the porch waving with the towel.

"Your mother is here." shouted the post officer. Tifa giggeled. "He-" I began but was cut short by Denzel running up to me and hugging me around my waist. "Someone called. I think his name was Vincent." I wrapped my arms around him as good as possible and smiled down at him.

"Oh Vincent you say. Thanks for telling me."

"Well then Tifa, I'll see you tomorrow." The man waved me goodbye and left.

"Why do people always think I am your son?" asked Denzel tilting his head at me.

"Because you are always around me. I'm sure they think Marlene is my daughter too. But I don't mind at all." I smiled and smirked a little. Judging from Denzel's expression my smirk made him wonder. Did I enjoy this feeling because I wanted to have a family?

"Come on, let's go inside now. You finish breakfast and I'll talk to Vincent."

"Who is Vincent?" he asked me, seizing my sleeve.

"A friend." I retorted and tousled his hair.

"You have too many friends." he laughed.

Whenever I was down it were the kids that heaved me up again. They always made me feel as though someone needed me. If it wasn't for Cloud to be around and make me feel his special someone, I still had the kids. And I would go on being there for them. They at least, wouldn't run away.

"Say Tifa, if I am your son, who's the father?" I stopped at these words. It was always obvious who I would see as their father, but this man wasn't here. I searched inside my head for the right things to say.

"Well we can still find a father, right?" I said somewhat shaky. I fought the urge to cry as I felt tears forming in my eyes. It's not your fault little boy, you could not have known.

**(Tifa POV End)**

---

**(Cloud POV)**

I stood close to the bar under the trees. Watching her talking with Denzel and the postman, she seemed fairly happy. Maybe she was stronger than I thought. I leant against a tree. Could I go back? Would she welcome me? I knew I should apologize sooner or later. But would she understand? Could I ever make up for all these things I said?

I was afraid and disgusted of myself. I could not remember ever having reacted the way I did back then in the church. Hurting someone like this with words. I was used to injure people with my sword, but words, words were something different. They don't leave a wound on your skin but in your heart. And how do you heal a heart? Love maybe? Maybe I should have gone to her and make her feel good? But I doubt she would have wanted that. Not from someone that had hurt her like this. Maybe we needed a few more days before I came back. I would sleep in Aerith's church until I was sure things were ok. Maybe this time being alone to myself would bring more memories back.

**(Cloud POV End)**


	10. Jealousy

Blackrose2005: Still not finished reading all of it? Haha shame on you. :D

And nope sorry, I cannot let this stay TifaxVincent, just has to be TifaxCloud :).

And yes I'm a fast updater, since I'm on vacation. And I had most of the story set in my mind already I just needed to get myself to actually write it down. ;)

Anyways, here goes the next chapter. Enjoy

---------

**Jealousy**

_Chapter 10_

**(Tifa POV)**

Vincent was going to meet me again today. He said he was sure I still need some company and yes he was right. I invited him for dinner. I felt a little giddy, but why? Might it have been because I hadn't flirted in a while? Either way, I enjoyd this feeling.

I roamed through my closet and searched for the best clothes I had. I decided to put on a darkred neckholder shirt and black pants. Taking a look into the mirror I felt as though I might expose a little too much of my back. Should I wear an ordinary shirt? Might he think I wanted to sedcue him?

"Looks great." I heard Marlene say. Spinning around I faced her, frowning. "Are you sure?" I asked her biting my lower lip.

"Yes." she cheered and jumped onto my bed. "Cloud would love it." I turned my head away pretending to be searching for socks. "I suppose." I pressed through my lips.

"What are you looking for?"

"Socks."

"But you wearing some already." said Marlene pointing at my feet.

Nervously I chuckeled and sat down on the bed.

"The door rang." My head spun around as I felt Marlene hopping off the bed and running downstairs to open the door. Smiling softly at the sight of the hyper girl I got to my feet and went downstairs.

Vincent, dressed as always smiled a little at my sight. I blushed. "Good Evening."

"Oh you are really pretty today, m'am." he chuckeled and stretched his hand out so he could lead me into the kitchen. I stiffeled a giggle. How cute.

He led me to an empty chair and lit a candle in the middle of the table he had brought with him. "I never have candles on my table when eating, but I reckon it's something different when you share the table with a pretty woman." Oh what a gentleman you are.

Denzel served the food and tried to act like a waiter as good as possible. I could not help but laugh but stiffened my expression as soon as I met Denzel's eyes that pierced me. He didn't want me to make fun of him. I smiled and waited for the food to be served.

"Enjoy." exclaimed Denzel and started eating a little greedy.

"So hungry already." I chuckeled at the sight of Denzel shoveling more and more food into his mouth. The evening went smooth and we had quiet some interesting topics to talk about. I had enjoyed it very much and on Vincent's proposal we all went for a late night's stroll. Like a father Vincent carried Marlene and Denzel's jacket while I walked next to his side.

"See Tifa, now we have the father." exclaimed Denzel who ran away a little further with Marlene. They didn't seem tired at all yet.

"What does he mean?" The black haired man looked at me puzzeled.

I giggeled. "People often think Denzel is my son, hence why he wanted to know who would be the father then. I'm sorry." I tried my best at stiffling my laughter. Vincent had always been a man I thought of to be serious and stern, not one to smile or be gentle like this. Thinking he could be a father was a somewhat cute but odd thought. I had someone for this role already. Someone I would be the best wife to. My expression dropped. All these emotions of joy were sucked away in an instant. Can you ever not destroy my day Cloud?

His strong warms wrapped around my back as he pulled me close. "It's ok." he whispered. "I know it hurts."

"You-" I began but tears forming in my eyes and something sitting in my throat that made it impossible for me to talk cut me short.

"I know what you feel for Cloud. Anyone with eyes could see that. I always knew it, and I am confident he will come back." His voice was softer than ever, comforting even, not as laid back as last time.

"Thanks." I sniffeled. Leaning my head against his upper arm again I watched Marlene and Denzel running around in front of me. Can I ever let go of you Cloud? What if Vincent is wrong an you will never return, can I ever find my happiness?

**(Tifa POV End)**

_---_

**(Cloud POV)**

I had never felt like this. I had never been one for spontaneous actions but today I apparently was. I saw him wrapping his arm around her, saw him pulling her close. It was not like I was stlaking them, rather going for a walk a few meters behind them, but far away enough to be out of their sight. Yes, I was going for a walk. Now why was I suddenly so tied to Tifa? I mean, she lied to me and everything. Was it because I wanted to know wheter she might be the person I once felt something for? Though Aerith's wound still hurt I knew that moving on was a good idea. Though something inside me told me, that I would usually run away and stay to myself. Was I a little shizophrenic? Or was that the Cloud I used to be before the accident talking inside me? I guess that would just have counted as a little shizophrenic. Why would he hold her that close anyways? She knew him for like a few minutes and already let him come close like this? Just what kind of woman are you Tifa? I felt like I had seen enough today. My intention had been to go back to the church but eventually I changd my mind and went to go to the bar. I could just go there and have a look right? I felt as though I could not go there anymore since ever the argument. Was I afraid of Tifa? I sat down on the porch, watching the street so I would be able to go away as soon as I saw them returning. She did not have to see me sitting here like a beggar, right?

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

**(Tifa POV)**

We walked a little further into the park and soon made our way back to the bar. Today the night was really clear and it was not that cold. Best weather to go for a walk.

I saw Marlene glancing at me and smiling as she saw Vincent's arm wrapped around me. My cheeks began to feel hot and my heart raced a little. Now what are you thinking little girl? He is just being nice. But I enjoyed this feeling a lot, even though it wasn't the man I wanted to be holding me. It was someone after all, someone I knew and felt good around for. Maybe my preference would change to Vincent, I wondered. No way! It's Cloud you love and always have, why should that change so suddenly. Yes, right, it wouldn't change. It was Cloud that was carved into her heart and he would stay there. Even if I was sure he would never love me back?

Before I could come up with an answer we came to a halt. We were close to the bar already.

**(Tifa POV End)**

---

**(Cloud POV)**

I must have dozed off. Opening my eyes and waiting for them to adjust to the dark I saw two figures in the distance. Were these Vincent and Tifa? Judging from something that looked like long hairon a person to the left, and the right person being a lot taller, I figured it were indeed them.

But hey, what were they doing? I got up from the porch and watched the scene warily.

Why did my heart race like this? Why did I suddenly feel a little giddy? I could not explain myself. I was nervous, yes indeed I was. My hands sweated, my heart was pounding in my chest like crazy and my feet wouldn't carry my weight for long. Would they kiss? I was torn between going away and waiting wheter it happens. Or should I just interfere?

I shook my head. Why was I thinking all these things. Tifa, lied at me. She was not even a friend anymore, yet I would behave like a little schoolboy when I saw her with another man? Might it really be _her_ I felt something for? No, I don't believe that. Not someone like her. I like her, that's all. And even this liking I had for her, was somewhat broken a little. No, she was nobody important to me.

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

**(Tifa POV)**

There we stood, he staring into my eyes and me staring back into his. His hands were resting on my upper arms as though he was eyeing me. Like a model. My hands just hung low, I had no idea where to put them. His upper warms were too high up, that would look weird, His hip maybe? But maybe he wouldn't like that. I decided to let them hang just the way they did. Though it did not escape my attention that his head seemed to come closer. Would he kiss me? No, hah, why should Vicent, a friend kiss me? That's just my secret desire. To have someone kiss me. And there was somebody whose lips I wanted to feel. Cloud's. I sighed on the inside. That would now forever stay a dream.

When my eyes fell upon his face again it had come dangerously close. I felt his breath on my skin. Should I kiss him? What did I have to lose? If Cloud wouldn't, than I at least wanted to be kissed at all.

**(Tifa POV End)**

---

**(Cloud POV)**

I saw their heads drifting closer. I knew I should have turned around on my heels and leave this place a long time ago already, but out of the blue my feet started walking. They were walking in a fast pace towards the two standing there. Was I jealous? I wasn't sure wheter I ever really experienced this feeling. Something told me I had to clear things now. Apologize to her. Though why did I have to do this at night when she was about to kiss another man?

Just because she was kissing another man. Right?

"Tifa." I exclaimed. Panting heavily I came to a halt in front of them. Shocked she spun around and faced me. "I'm so sorry, I have been an asshole." I forced out of my lips. I tried my hardest to keep staring into her eyes and not cowardly turn my gaze away.

**(Cloud POV End)**

-----

Sorry guys, no kissing scene for Tifa and Vincent. ;)

**Note:**

This is, unfortunately, going to be my last update for a few days, since starting tomorrow I'll be in Tyrol until Sunday. And starting on Monday I've got summer job. I wonder how that will go, since summer job at the very same place last year caused me a tendonitis on my left hand. /

So I really do hope this chapter is making up for my absence.

And about that sad part silver chocobo15 is asking for, ah let's see what I'll do to this story. ;) I'm a little spontaneous with that. Would just be boring if they would be happy and all out of a sudden, right:P


	11. Welcome home

I think Vincent/Yuffie is better, since Tifa belongs to Cloud. ;)

And thanks for that lovely reviews:D Love you all.

Well as you people can see I am still here. Reason is my cold. I've had it for at least 2 weeks (mum thinks 4) and now it just got worse an my mum fears it might develop into a pneumonia, hence why I had to stay at home which means, more updates. ;) Enjoy.

-------

**Welcome Home**

_Chapter 11_

(Tifa POV)

I never heard him apologize. In all the years I have known him, he never said sorry to me. Staring into his eyes, I noticed how unsure he felt. Do you really mean it?

Realizing that Vincent still stood next to me, I turned around and smiled at him. "Good night." he said. Usually I would have kissed him on the cheek, I felt like doing that, but since Cloud was standing rightnext t ome, I felt this was a little inappropriate. Patting his shoulder I smiled once again and said Good night too.

(Tifa POV End)

"Cloud!" Denzel exclaimed. Running up to the man he threw his arms around him. "You are back finally." Cloud wrapped his arms around the boy and smiled down at him. "If Tifa allows me back in, yes."

Glancing at the woman, the warrior's eyebrows furrowed. Tifa swallowed and said "You know, the kids miss you, you should come back." A cold tone underlay her words. Was she not happy? Or did she just not want to admit? _'Don't think you can come back just like that. Though a part of mine had longed for this reunion, I'm not giving in so easily. I'm doing this for the kids.'_

Cloud, Tifa and the two kids inbetween went back into the bar where Tifa prepared some soup. "So where have you been?" asked Marlene curiously, beaming at the grown man.

Cloud stared at his hands for a moment before talking. "I was-" he hesitated. "I was trying to regain more about my past. And I hurt people in the process."

"As well as you getting hurt." retorted Tifa sternly who served the soup.

"So what? Are you trying to tell me i should have never found out?" provoked Cloud, clenching his fist.

Tifa sighed and turned her gaze away. "I know it wouldn't have been ok, but it would have been better for you."

"I can deal with it." he retorted sternly and turned his gaze away as well. Tifa poured some soup in each plate and took a seat. "Yes I have seen how you can deal with pain." she reotrted placidly not raising her head from the big saucepan she was staring into. Realizing they had argued right in front of the kids who eyed the elders closely almost scared they would start to yell, awkward silence filled the room.

---

(Cloud POV)

Was it wrong to come back? I thought it was Tifa I felt something for and now I got snapped at like this? I sat back on the bed I had slept very few nights in. The room seemed a lot more familiar now. And so did the faces now. I should have apologized properly, telling her I was an asshole and all that wouldn't help anything. Reluctantly I got to my feet again. But what was I supposed to tell her? That I made a big mistake? But I didn't see searching for my past as a mistake. It was my right to do so, right? Just as I was about to step out of the room I nearly bumped into Tifa who was about enter.

(Cloud POV End)

---

(Tifa POV)

So I decided to apologize too. After all I lied to him. Entering his room I nearly ran into him. I felt my heart jump, not because I was surprised, that felt different, but rather as if I was nervous. "You know." I began trying to face him. "I did not behave ok either. I should not have lied, but I was afraid." I said almost pleading, taking a few steps closer at the Cloud who had backed away. "I was afraid you would fall back into the sadness again. I've seen you in so much pain, to the point I thought you would burst. I could not bear seeing you in this state again."

"Whenever I think I can be happy, I fall. It has always been that way. That's how my life goes. So why would protecting me – I know you meant it got my own good and I appreciate that – help me any? I'm not made to love. Seeing as it always goes wrong." his voice was low and he faced the little frame on the table while talking.

"This time, I'll catch you." I retorted. I knew, I had never really tried to help him, mostly because he had Aerith and when she was gone he wouldn't really have let me get closer. "You managed to move on with your life so perfectly once, when we built this here up. And I was still lingering in the past, unable to move on. Don't think that everyone is perfect. We are all a mess, but we are alive." I had waited so long to tell him this, so long to let him know, that we were all having trouble with moving on when he thought he was the only one.

But there was something more important than this I wanted to tell him. I had it on my mind every day, whenever I saw his face. But I couldn't, and I don't believe now was the right time either.

His head spun around again to face me. I saw pain in his eyes. You felt vulnerable, right?

"You have beaten the great Sphiroth once already, let a team of mismatched fighters to save the planet and conquered your own inner fears, which was most important. Yet you still remain unconvinced about your own worth. And that's what I want to help you with. I want you to be happy and be a part of this happiness, if you would only let me." I felt tears forming in my eyes again. It were exactly these words I had imagined to tell him so often. I had always been afraid of his reaction, but now, not he had gone once already and if he decided to go again, I was sure I could let go. Shame on you if you fool me once, Shame on me if you fool me twice. I wanted you to come back, if you hurt me again, right here Cloud Strife, I will not forgive you. I eyed him closely waiting for his reaction.

(Tifa POV End)

---

(Cloud POV)

my mouth was dry, my mind blank. What was I supposed to tell her now? She went through so much just to get a man, spoiled as I am, back onto the right path and I stand here, searching for words. No matter how hard I thought, I couldn't come up with the right to say. With something that had an equal meaning as her words. She former her sentences so thouroughly, she must have thought long about it, and I, I stood there and had no idea what to say. How do you form your feelings into words? Is it that what most people wish they could do? What could I have said to make her feel I worthen the person she is?

"I wish, I could tell you the same, tell you how much you improved in all these years. But to me, to me you were perfect from the very start. I worthen you as a friend a lot, I never thought friends could have such a heavy impact on my life again, and if there were words to tell you how much I thank you, I would. But a simple Thank you, is an understatement." I saw her eyes watering. Did I say something wrong? was that not what she wanted to hear? "Tifa, what's the matter?"

(Cloud POV End)

---

(Tifa POV)

Though Cloud was never a man of words, he made me happy. Maybe this was the first time, he really thought of what to say other than the kind of smalltalk we usually had. Though I noticed he still tried to distance I couldn't fight the urge and hugged him, hugged him tight to feel his warmth again. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. "I-" should I say it? "I thank you."

"Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?" Reluctantly he raised his hand. I felt it trembling as It rested on my back. "No. "I sobbed. "These are tears of joy."

Though I wanted to show him the cold shoulder and make him taste his own medicine, he caused my ice to melt again.

"Cloud." I released from the embrace. "There is something I wanted to tell you for a while." I could do it, I knew I could. It were just words, words that came from my heart. If I don't say it now, when am I supposed to say them then? Right now, that we reunited it would be the best. Maybe it would hurt less now if he told me he didn't feel the same. Now hat he had just come back.

"Cloud, I-"

(Tifa POV End)

The door bursted open and Marlene ran inside. "Denzel!" she exclaimed. "He passed out!".

------

Yeah I know I'm mean. : But that had to be.


	12. Needing You

**Needing You**

_Chapter 12_

Tifa and Cloud rushed out of the room. "He is over there." exclaimed Marlene and pointed at the boy lying in the middle of the living room. Tifa's hand touched his forehead. "No temperature." she said. Moving away so Cloud could pick him up she asked Marlene to get some water.

Cloud placed him down on the couch and sat on the couch's edge. Tifa rushed to his side and leant over the boy.

---

**(Tifa POV)**

My head bumped against his as we leant over the boy. I felt my cheeks getting hot. I stared up into his blue eyes. The eyes I always found so enchating. I would have given anything to kiss him right now, right where he was, even though Denzel was lying beneath us. I felt his warm breaht on my skin which caused a chill down my spine. I felt Cloud moving away to sit up straight at the end of the couch.

I stood up and sat besides him, enjoying that he opened up to me, that he would actually let me come close.

"I'd better bring Denzel into his room for him to sleep there." he said. Might he have been avoiding me?

Picking up the little boy he looked down at him before raising his head to look at Tifa. "You look good with a child in your arms." I giggeled. Tilting my head at him, my left arm rested on my right upper arm. I tried my hardest to keep looking into his face. Taking in a deep breah I told him straight away. "Cloud, there is something I wanted to tell you for long."I swallowed. Hastily I added "I love you." This was totally unromantic and a shame to all the dreams I had about telling him about my love. I had said the words so fast, maybe he didn't understand them? Judging from his look, he might really not have understood them.

**(Tifa POV End)**

---

**(Cloud POV)**

Was it that she wanted to tell me? Was I ready to hear it? I felt nervous. Did she expect me to tell her now too? Did I have to say 'I love you' now too? But what if I wasn't sure wheter I wanted to say it yet? I had always been told these words were to be said with care. You have to truly mean it to say them. But do I feel love? I placed Denzel back onto the couch.

"I-" I began but chuckeled as I pressed my forehead against hers. "I am suck at these things."

I felt something wetten my nose. Was she crying? Where these tears of joy again? Or was she actually sad I didn't have the courage to tell her that I love her yet? What if I was never ready to tell her? What if I would wait all my life for the very moment I feel I do love her, but when would I know? It's not like there was a voice telling you that it's time to tell someone these three magical words. Maybe I should just tell her what I feel in a different way.

"You are the one that keeps me going, even though I lost myself a thousand miles ago already." I pulled myself together. "And that's what I want to thank you for." What was I making a fuss about, I knew I did and it couldn't be this hard to let her know too. I remember a poem I read once. Recalling it bit by bit I started into her eyes and swallowed.

"Let these words not only touch your eyes, let them travel through your soul." I paused, I felt so pathetic. But I assumed that was the price to pay. "And let them rest in your heart as you rest in mine." My voice was shaky though I tried my hardest at hiding it. I pulled her closer so I would directly look into her eyes. I felt nervous and vulnerable. And as corny as this scene might have been, it was something I saw in my dreams. A certain someone taught me once that women like poems, and I prayed to god, that Tifa would have liked this one."I love you Tifa Lockheart." I saw tears streaming down her face. "Just about anyone can catch a glimpse on your pretty eyes, but there is only one that can catch a glimpse onto your heart. And I am happy I am the chosen one." I pressed my forehead against hers again. It felt hot. I could have stayed in this position forever, just listening to the silence surrounding us and her breathing. As long as I heard her breathe, I felt ok. My cheeks felt hot, I was blushing. Back then, when Zack was still at my side, cocky as ever, I told him that I didn't believe I was the man for relationships and romance. I told him that life was given to me so I would live it alone. When he told me that women had the ability to crack the perfect road you were walking on, I just chuckeled. I was sure noone would love somebody like me and here I stand now, in the arms of a beautiful woman who loves me. Now if you were alive man, you would tell me that every Jack has his Jill and I would tell you that you always had multiple Jills. I grinned to myself as I pressed a kiss onto her forehead.

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

**(Tifa POV)**

Seeing this side about Cloud I felt like living a dream. I pinched his arm and at the sight of him frowning I explained. "I just wanted to make sure, we aren't living a dream."

"Here's the water!" Marlene came running inside again. Releasing the embrace immediately as though we were doing something forbidden, I nervously brushed a fre hairstrands behind my ear. "Thank you darling." I took the glass. I watched Cloud picking up Denzel again, his strong muscular arms carried him as though he wasn't heavy at all. But I experienced, when I intended to carry Denzel once when he had fallen asleep next to watching tv, that he was quiet heavy.

I followed Cloud into Denzel's room and watched him place the boy on the bed gently. How would it feel to have Cloud carry me once? I stiffeled a giggle.

**(Tifa POV End)**

---

Cloud and Tifa left the room again. "Cloud?" she seized his arm. "I want to thank you for being here." The warrior frowned. "You." Tifa hesitated. "You helped me build all this here up. When you were away, I felt the great part missing here. We are like a family. We all need each other. Especially _I_ need you." Tifa's hand shifted lower so they held hands. Cloud's expression softened and he smiled. "Yes I know."

**(Cloud POV)**

I held her hand, her tiny little warm hand. Was this the moment where two people would kiss? But how am I to kiss her anyways? That's part of memory I didn't regain. Would I need to tilt my head like they do in these soaps? Should I hold her chin? What were my hands supposed to do anyways? Should I wrap them around her hips? I saw her moving closer. This was it man, she would kiss me.

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

"Oh Sorry." winced Barret who had stepped inside. "I just wanted to come and pick up Marlene, ya know, it's Thursday and she's always at my place on Thursdays." Cloud had immediately let go of her hand and backed away a little. "It's ok." stammered Tifa.

"I'll be gone in a flash. Just let me pick her up." Barrte chuckeled nervously. "Marlene!" he yelled.

The little girl came hopping down the stairs and hugged him tight. "Alright, see you later." barret waved goodbye and strode outside, Marlene still pressed against his side. "Bye." waved little Marlene.

"Ok that was unexpected." frowned the man in black. Just as he turned his head around to Tifa, her hand had found his chin and pulled him close. Pressing her warm lips against his Cloud wrapped her arms around her waist. _'Yes, let's just rest my hands there.'_

**(Tifa POV)**

So this is what his lips were like? Smoother than I had imagined them to be in any of my dreams. I enjoyed the feeling in my stomach. I enjoyed the feeling that went through every of my limbs. This moment was just ours. Though I had always imagined him to kiss me at a more romantic place, but for our first kiss, it was just alright to be standing close to the main door.

**(Tifa POV End)**

---

"Oh sorry man, we forgot her-" Barret had come inside again but cut himself short as he saw them kissing. "Ok, nevermind, it's warm outside anyways." he stammered hastily and left the room again. Neither Tifa nor Cloud had noticed Barret saw them. They just had eyes for each other.

-----

Yeah the kissing scene might not have been as good as one could have made it, but I really had no idea how to make it all romantic. :P I know Cloud sounded somewhat corny up there, but I find that to be somewhat cute:D

I hope you enjoyed this chapter either way.


	13. Two Hearts One Love

**Two Hearts – One Love**

_Chapter 13_

**(Cloud POV)**

I withdrew from our embrace as I felt two small arms wrapping around my waist. Looking down at brown tuft I figured it was Denzel.

"Hey let me hug too!" he exclaimed raising his head to look at us. "Were you two kissing?" he inquired and raised an eyebrow. "Ew."

I had enjoyed the taste of her lips, her soft lips. I guess that comes from applying those lip balm all the time. She tasted sweet.

**(Cloud POV End)**

"There's nothing bad about kissing." explained Tifa and flicked his forehead.

"Bah!" grunted the younger and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I'll go eat, just go on doing your dirty stuff." he spouted and headed for the kitchen. Tifa stiffeled a giggle. "Oh isn't he cute. So innocent." she beamed at him.

"Yes." replied Cloud a little shakily. After all, it was a new experience to him too. He couldn't remember his first kiss. _'Or did I ever kiss Aeris?'_

**(Tifa POV)**

I took his hand. It was cold. Are you nervous, Cloud?

I pulled him into the living room. "Come on, let's sit down a little. We shouldn't sit around like that." I smiled at him and thudded onto the couch. Cloud stood to my right. He wouldn't move. I fetched the pillow to my left and slapped him. "Hey you! It's you I told to sit down."

Crossing his arms in front of his chest he gave me a cheeky look. I never knew you would look that way. I stiffeled a giggle again and raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you up to?" I laughed. But he, he stood there, somewhat stern, but charming.

He came closer and his arms wrapped around my body and heaved me up. "Cloud." I said shakily. How I longed for this.

He carried me up the stairs to my room apparently. "Cloud, aren't I too heavy for you?" I frowned a little. I was sure I'm not that light. Just look at me.

"You aren't." he replied softly and smiled down at me again.

**(Tifa POV End)**

---

**(Cloud POV)**

I placed her down onto the bed gently and stroked her hair before I sat down besides her. Stroking her hair gently I placed a kiss onto her forehead, onto her nose and finally onto her soft lips. She closed her eyes.

Shifting above her I placed each of my hands besides her head to support my weight. This was it, the moment. The very moment were I had her lying beneath me. She could not run away and I was all there, there for her, and I had all the time on earth to look at her beautiful face.

Her hand reached up to my cheek. With the back of her hand she caressed it and then her hand slid down my chest. I felt a chill running down my spine but I kept calm, pretending that I was not boiling inside.

"Quit seducing me." I smirked at her. She would only smirk back at me and bit her lower lip. Before I had any chance to kiss her again, she had shifted out of under me and sat on the bed.

"This is going a little too fast, now isn't it?" she asked me, her back turned to me.

"If you say so." I retorted knowing that I would always respect any of her decisions. I had not thought as far as she did already. Though she was right. "Let's not hurry."

**(Cloud POV End)**

---

**(Tifa POV)**

I felt my heart still pounding hard in my chest. My hands shook. It's the moment I always wanted to be in, yet I was afraid. Something caused me to be afraid. We should not rush anything. After all, it was a long and painful path to the point where we are now.

"I am happy that you are here with me now." I turned around and smiled at him, forcing back the tears that were about to form in the corners of my eyes as I thought of the pain I had endured.

Yes indeed, I was happy, happy to have the man I wanted at my side. But still, I was afraid he might be taken away from me again. I wanted him by my side, forever. Nothing should ever break us apart. That's what I always thought and still do. Yet there was an incident that broke us apart, even if just for short. Though the fact he founded back to me proved that his feelings are honest.

I crawled up to him and pressed my forehead against his chest, listening to his heart beat. Listening to our hearts beating in one rhythm. The rhythm of love - our rhythm.

"Can you hear it?"

"Hear what?" he asked me curiously.

"The beat of our hearts. Ever beat is another part of a second spent with you. Another part of a second of our love." A small giggle escaped my lips. Two hearts – one Love. That's how it is supposed to be.

"Yes I can hear it." he pressed me closer to his body and released me a minute after only to listen to my heart beat. I lay flat on my back as his head shifted onto my stomach and up a little further to my chest. He rested his head there, his spikes tickling my face a little.

It was then when he told me again what I couldn't stop hearing for the rest of my lfe. "I love you."

I ran my hand through his spikes to his neck where I rested my hand. Twirling one of his spikes between my fingers a little I replied. "Yes, I love you too. And I wont ever stop."

**(Tifa POV End)**

"Yo man, Cloud, where the hell are you?" a deep voice yelled. "Marlene wanted home already."

Just as Cloud was about to stand up and tell barret to quit yelling, this certain man was already standing in the doorframe.

"Geez, you've kids here." he tilted his head at them and flicked his tongue.

"We were not about to do anything." retorted Cloud sternly and sat up from the positon he was it, facing the tall man.

"What a cute scene to see you two in." he laughed at them. "And I began to think already that you two were just to stupid to hook up!"

Bursting out in bellowing laughter he held his stomach while laughing. "Well then, I'll ocupy the kids in the meantime. But hey, stay quiet." he winked at Tifa and after a short wave with his hand he vanished.

"Idiot." grunted Tifa.

Cloud's head spun around. "I never heard you calling anyone of our gang an Idiot."

"Just because you never got to hear it doesn't mean I don't call them idiots at times." she smirked at him and sat up.

"Bad girl."

"Says the man that slices people. Yeah, sure." she cuffed him.

"That's called defense, my dear."

"Hah, my dear?" the woman gibed. "I should call you Darling then." Tifa retorted cockily.

"I would not mind." he whispered leaning closer to nuzzle her neck. "My Darling."

------------

I hope this chapter is making up for the long wait, even though it's not extremely long.

And well every story comes to an end, and so does mine. I want to say thanks to all of you, you've been great and loyal reviewers, as well as readers. And great thanks to Roxadestroy too. :)

But just because this story ends, wont mean I will not come up with a new story once in a while. I'd be more than happy if you loyal readers would check my two new projects out "City of Angels" and "Forbidden Love". That's all, I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

(And Sorry for the late update. I was busy. ; Sorry. )


End file.
